They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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