can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
