I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
