garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
