Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize