Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
