Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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