there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
