shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
