I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
