I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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