What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
