i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
