Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
