while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
