Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
