Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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