i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
