I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
