How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
