had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
