I wish my penis had an off switch
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
