I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
