Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
