he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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