he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
