my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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