I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize