We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
