I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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