I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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