your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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