STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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