are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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