No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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