never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
