Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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