I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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