he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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