they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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