Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
