I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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