Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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