Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
