I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
