Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
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