Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
