he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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