I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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