Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the day after is always just damage control
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
