ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
