i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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