I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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