New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm too high and old for this...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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