Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
